Blog #37 – Home “sweet” home

We have been back living in “normal” for the past 7.5 months. WOW what a flurry and massive change in pace for our family of 4. As per me, I do NOT sugar coat things…. It has been immensely hard coming back. Yes of course it has been amazing seeing family and friends again and being in our community, and seeing our kids be with their friends again after so long. And yes, handing over the schooling to the better equipped ones has been wonderful!!!!! But pretty much that is where it ends…. Gosh that sounds like serious DOOM and gloom!!!! Sorry.

Life here is crazy busy. Everyone around us is busy. You have to plot and plan to make plans, you rush from one thing to another thing, our minds are now full of “stuff”… and sadly this stuff adds VERY little quality or goodness to our lives. Our lives are now on a structure and routine. As much as we try to avoid it, we are constantly being sucked into material stuff. …..

I have had days where I literally cry from waking up to going to sleep. Days when my heart and soul feels empty. When joy and laughter is hard to find……

But then again, I have days where I relish laughing with my friends and sharing old stories, where I feel so blessed watching my kids play with their cousins, where my community holds me close and allows me to feel whatever I am feeling, where we cycle in the forest and count our blessings, where I sit on my veranda and thank god for the beautiful home we found.

A roller coaster…… yip that is what it has been like.

The one thing I have noticed the most about returning is that I lost my “inner peace”. For 99% of the year last year, I had this amazing sense of peace right down in the pit of my stomach. I have never been as content and happy as I was whilst travelling through East Africa in our car and trailer with my family. I came back and that sense of contentment and peace seems unreachable.

Another thing we have noticed is the use of medicine….last year after 3 months of being on the road, both Dev and I completely stopped taking any form of medicine. Dev used to get massive tension headaches/spasms in his neck, we both battled to sleep and I got bad monthly headaches…. 3 months in…NOTHING! Now if this alone doesn’t shout at the stress of “modern life” I am not sure what does. Not to mention the sicknesses associated with this “stress”. And now we find ourselves feeling unable to sleep, the neck pains coming back…..

I try not push my feelings of turmoil onto my kids but out of the blue the other I was driving them home from school and they both asked if we could pack up and leave again….. How hard that is when your very own body yearns to throw out that couch, that oven, the 4 walled brick house… even that washing machine(!!!!!) and settle for less (but SO much more).

Will time heal? Will things get easier? Or harder? Will “normal” ever do it for us? What is the answer? I would love words of encouragement from others who have returned to normal after substantial time away.

People have asked me, if had I known I would experience the emotions I am experiencing now, would I do it again?? The answer is always a resounding YES YES YES!!!

If you and your loved one and family ever have the opportunity to explore and adventure……DO IT. Grab it with every ounce of your body and soul. Relish every second you are out there and share your joy with others 😊